Nobody Knows It But Me
by TheTalontedOne
Summary: Nobody knew how she felt. Especially the one she cared for most, and when she was finally able to tell him the words he wanted to hear, he wasn't there.


She sat on her bed looking at a picture. She brushed her purple hair back while trying to hold in tears that had built up over the past few months. The picture fell on her bed as she dropped it, folding her body up so no one would disturb her. Anger and regret filled her heart as she looked at the two figures sitting next to each other. Then there was one. The picture fell on her bed as she dropped it, folding her body up so no one would disturb her. Her arms felt wet. When she pulled her head up, she saw tears rolling down her pale limbs. She couldn't hold it in anymore, and she cried. Cried out months and months of not telling him anything.

:Flashback:

"I'm sorry, I can't take this anymore. I need someone who can show me how they feel and not just tell me. I love you, but do you love me?" He asked. One blue eye looking into her own with love, and one fake, red eye showing no emotion. The same emotion she always showed.

Silence, nothing but silence. He stood up, grabbed his bag and walked away as she watched.

:End:

Her room was her only solitude now. In the past, it was both of their's. Now it feels dead to her. The emotions she so desperatly wanted to show to him came out, but it was too late. He was gone. The others knew they were seperated, but didn't know why. Each time one tried to ask, she shut them out. She shut everyone out. Her only way of keeping them together is what broke them apart.

> > > > > > > > > >

Time went on, she showed improvement as if nothing happened. They smiled seeing her like she was, but it was all a charade. It was the only thing she could think of doing to take her mind off of him, but after a while she couldn't keep it up. Each day, everywhere she went. All of it reminded her of him, the only one who understood her. The only one who loved her. She felt the same, but never told him.

When she was around their presence she would front, but at night when she was alone, she would cry herself to sleep again. Her pain was a constant reminder of him too. She couldn't escape it, couldn't escape him. He was the only one who could tell what she was thinking and how she felt, but he wanted her to show it--to tell it. It's what they both wanted.

"Why didn't I tell him? He told me it didn't matter what happened, all he wanted was to hear how I felt." She whimpered as the clear, salty drops fell from her lavender orbs.

In the beginning, no one was there. She didn't care if they were, but he was ALWAYS there. Darkness was all that she knew, but he showed her the light. Now...it was dark again; even darker than before. As she looked up, she saw his image.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." She said. The words she wanted to say for so long she could without anything happened. Her heart was on her shoulder's, but he wasn't there to catch it this time. He just faded away, he left her again. Left her to her turmoil.

_ > > > > > > > > > >_

A frozen, dark world was all she knew until he melted it. He opened her eyes to a warm, wonderous world that she never thought was possible. It was a feeling that she never wanted to lose, but her powers held her back from taking those steps. They made her apprehensive and scared. She wanted to take the step across the line from darkness to light, but it was like stepping into cold water.

Each day, he would try again to pull her across, but her powers held her like chains in a bleek and dismal prison from being set free. The day finally came when the chains released her, she was free to step across, but there was no one to guide her. What was the use of being in a beautiful world with no one to share it with; so she stayed in the black emptyness that she was so used to.

Even though she stayed in the darkness, she acted like she was in the light. She changed into a knew person, smiling, interacting, and being what she wanted to be for so long. Being a part of what she wanted to be in...a family.

She was happy, but it was just a shell. The inside of her was slowly eating away at the facade she built up to trick the others into believing that she was fine.

Each day she found it even harder to act in front of them, each day it was even harder to get out of bed. She became two people, during the day she would be happy, but at night she was sad. It was as if she became an emotinal superhero, but when in reality, she was the one who needed saving; but the only one she wanted to save her wasn't there.

_ > > > > > > > > > >_

She looked at her clock, it was four in the morning--even later than the night before. Her room was filled with silence, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of raindrops impacting the roof of the tower. As she listened it was as if the angel of Heaven itself were mourning along with her. On the outside the tears she cried were finally free to live, but on the inside her heart was dying.

Her heart screamed for him. In the past, he would've heard, but he couldn't now. She was mad at him for not waiting, but when she looked back. He did wait, he waited for years, but she procrastinated. Her fear held her back and she cursed herself for it.

_ > > > > > > > > > >_

She had finally hit rock bottom, all of her feelings were out for the world to see. Her spirit was broken, her will--destroyed. In the past she would've killed herself, but he always stopped her. He would hold and kiss away her pain. She was the psychic, but he always knew how she felt. Her body and emotions were a delicate form, like a chinese vase. Now, it was nothing but broken shards, sprawled out on the floor.

No matter what she said, no matter how much she said, it was nothing compared to how she felt. She wondered if there were any words to explain it all.

All she knew was that he took her heart. He was the only one who could ever love her--the only one she ever wanted to love her. Without him, her life was incomplete. She would always love him, and she knew he would always love her, but her own emotions would not let her show it.

It wasn't his fault that she couldn't show it, in fact he was that reason that she was able to control it. He gave her a meaning to live, he was--no he is her reason for living.

More memories flooded her mind as she sat in the middle of her bed. A bed that they used to share. On nights like this, they would sit and just enjoy each other's company as it rained. The rain was music to them, it was their love song. So many days, so many nights, so many weeks, so many months, and even years he was there. She had so many chances to tell him and she knew it.

Her head was hurting from the pain and she buried her face in her pillow. It was soft and comforting, but to her it was hard and cold.

As she raised her head, no more tears came down. She knew what she had to do.

She picked up a picture of a young male who held a young girl. Both outcasts in a world, but brought together through it. For the first time in almost a year, she smiled. There was no more pain. The storm was over and her mind was clear. She couldn't bare to be without him.

_ > > > > > > > > > >_

As the others slept, she walked out of her room. A suitcase in one hand, a note in the other. She placed it on the kitchen counter and walked out the door.

The sun slowly rose over her and she began walking. She didn't know where he was, but she was going to find him and tell him how she feels; she was going to tell him how much she loves him. No matter what the circumstance, he was going to know. In her heart, she knew he still felt the same. She wondered if he would return with her, but she knew he would.

Finally, she took those first steps from the darkness and into the light. He may not have been there to see it, but he was there in her heart. Now she wanted to be there for him, be there for when he needs someone; just as he was for her.

Pain was a thing of the past for. Now only love and compassion filled her heart. Her motivation was what she--what they had, and she was going to get it back. She searched and searched for him. At times she felt like quitting, but she did that in the past and look what it got her.

Over the horizon, she saw a familiar figure. It was him, and she ran as fast as she could to him, but he didn't notice her. She stood behind his back and finally said the words she wanted to say to him for so long.

"I love you Cyborg." She said._  
_


End file.
